Larry humorously thought of himself as an energetic ninja. His heightened sense of his surroundings kept him on edge but felt second nature. Larry was prepared at any moment for a fight, for someone to say the wrong thing or attack him for no reason. He frequently woke up at night convinced someone was in his house. Even though he trained in martial arts, he didn't feel prepared for assault. In fact, he felt uneasy and repeatedly played out fantasies of having to defend himself from brawls even though he had never been in a physical fight.
What is hypervigilance?
Simply put hypervigilance is a state where you are "on" all the time You are excessively aware of sound, movement and other people's energies (or vibes). There is a power in this supra-awareness; the ability to calculate the motives and perceived desires of others. Ultimately, however, it is exhauting to both your nervous system and your emotional well-being.
Why is hypervigilance so common in survivors?
As a survivor of sexual abuse you were put in situations where you were dominated against your will. You were forced physically, emotionally and psychologically into activity that was threatening, confusing and overwhelming.You have learned on a deep level that you need to protect yourself however you can to avoid that pain, creating an armor that is taxing to your overall health. Even those closest to you may have qualities that seem suspicious and you monitor them with accuracy.
How can I transform hypervigilance into grounded intuition?
One of the negative effects of hypervigilance is perceiving everyone in your life as a potential threat. Some of these threats are real but many are not. There is a way to take this heightened sense of awareness and transform it to serve you through grounded intuition.Intuition is the ability to feel directly into experiences and derive the gut feelings that help you to know when you are safe or not. Intuition creates a foundation for understanding your own actions as well as those of others. You are able to make informed decisions by trusting the part of you that knows how to decipher between your instincts and your impulses.
An exercise to transform hypervigilance into intuition:
Close your eyes and imagine you are in a crowded room of people you know well. Fill the room with people who you like and dislike. Notice the smells, sounds and movements of the people there. Notice how you feel without judging it as good or bad.Choose one person to watch closely. Watch every gesture, facial expression and listen to what they say. You notice a door that leads to another room, which is empty and safe. Reflecting on everything you noticed about this person answer these questions:
*Is this person safe?
*Why is (s)he safe or unsafe?
*Does (s)he want to bring you harm and why?
*What would be the best way to make yourself safe in the company of this person?
*Where do you feel the answers to these questions in your body?
You may feel that the answers are illogical or difficult to grasp. That's OK. Training your intuition takes practice, however your intuition is always present and accessible. You just need to train it to work on your behalf.
But...
Why would I want to let my guard down? Isn't being aware of my surroundings a good thing?
Being aware of your surroundings is a necessary aspect of being human. Having your guard up 24-7 can create a tiring and overwhelming existence. Hypervigilance offers a narrow perspective on life, one that is based in trauma. You can feel like everyone is out to get you, when in truth, there are people who want to keep you safe from danger.These people are your allies and it's important to distinguish them from potential persecutors.
Isn't intuition the same as gong with a "gut feeling"? Shouldn't I think about my impulse to react rather than acting on gut instincts?
Yes, intuition is similar to a gut feeling but rather than acting on impulse alone, intuition is a heightened level of intelligence that resides in the physical and emotional body. You can train your intuition so that you can relax into situations, even uncomfortable ones.You can make choices that are executed from a multitude of perspectives based on understanding the whole picture rather than a consistent sense of threatened attack.
Back to Larry
During a sparring match in his karate class, the instructor had four other students "attack" Larry simultaneously. Larry completely froze in terror, unable to move. Later that night he made the connection with the severe overwhelm he felt when he was about to be abused.As Larry worked to transform his hypervigilance into intuition he as able to make distinctions between people's true motivations and what he thought they might be. He learned how to "feel people out" and get a better sense of who and how safe they were.He also realized that his peers in karate were more concerned with his safety than his ability to defend himself.
Summary
Your intuition is one of the most useful tools accessible to you that helps to differentiate what is truly a threat. You can learn to use your awareness of your surroundings to your advantage without exhausting yourself. By opening to the power of your intuition you can create useful foundation for understanding yourself and others with compassion, kindness and open awareness.
What's Next?
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Seth Lepore is an Intuitive Cousleor who works with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse and their loved ones. You can sign up for his FREE newsletter at Healing the Survivor. You can reach him at info(at) healingthesurvivor.com.
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